fear and loathing in chicago, part 1

Well, I had another interesting trip to Chicago. (By "interesting," I mean "times, May you live in.") Microsoft was offering a free Upgrading SharePoint class at their Chicago office, and my boss thought I should go. I must admit it was very helpful. I'm not sure if the price was worth it, though.

I caught an afternoon flight to Chicago, which went without incident, and I landed at O'Hare, claimed my bag, and headed off to the L. Getting to my hotel required switching trains, which I successfully navigated, thanks to Dirk Gently's theory that, when you are lost, you should follow the first person you meet who looks like they know where they're going. This payed off in a big way after exiting the final station. According to the maps, my hotel was on the corner of Grand and Michigan. Arriving at the physical location I discovered a bit of an issue--Grand doesn't actually intersect Michigan--it goes under it. I managed to keep my flatlander brain from imploding at the very idea, and followed a woman with a rolling suitcase who looked like she knew where she was going. At about the point where Grand should have intersected Michigan, she entered a building and headed to an elevator marked "To Michigan Ave." I followed her outside the building, and there was my hotel across the street.

The next morning, I dressed in my specially chosen non-casual, yet comfortable outfit, which included a nice green wool sweater and those comfy brown German loafers I purchased some time back--neither of which I'd worn for any long periods of time. Within the first block of walking to the L station, I realized the shoes were going to be an issue, what with them rubbing on the backs of my heels. Standing on the rush hour L in my leather jacket, the downside of the wool sweater became apparent. By the time I got off the train and made the three block walk to the building that houses Microsoft, I was pretty well drenched with sweat.

I tried not to drown the receptionist as I checked in. She was very nice and even found a place to stash my suitcase. I was a half hour early, so when I spotted the ladies' room, I darted into it as fast as my shoes would allow. I secured myself into the handicapped stall and worked on stopping sweating. After that was under control, I pried off my shoes and found blood everywhere. I hobbled to the sinks, grabbed some paper towels, and fashioned some heel guards. After a careful reapplication of face powder, I was all set to go to the meeting.

The meeting was great. The Microsoft guys were really nice and answered all my questions. (One of them even tried to help me get my wireless adapter on my laptop working, but we couldn't--this will become significant later.) The chick next to me worked for a liquor distributor and played the electric guitar, so she was fun. After a box lunch, courtesy of Microsoft, I packed up my stuff and retrieved my suitcase. I got the brilliant idea to change into the jeans and tennis shoes I wore the day before, so after a quick change in my bathroom, I was off to the L station.

I easily found it, and when I got inside, I peeled off my leather coat and stuffed it into my suitcase. After a fairly long wait for the train to O'Hare, I settled into my seat, glad that my ordeal was over. (Use the title of this post and your knowledge of life to construct an ironic subtext.)